One of the funniest and profound clips I’ve ever seen is entitled The Power of Vulnerability. It is filled with simple revelation into the condition of humanity – who we are, what drives us, what we are fearful of and how we make up for those insecurities.
The social researcher Brene Brown, highlights a couple of inherent truths. Firstly, connection is why we are here. It gives purpose and meaning to our lives – we are neurobiologically wired for connection. Secondly, shame is the fear of disconnection. Underpinning shame and the feeling of “I’m not good enough” is excruciating vulnerability. Fear of being vulnerable enough to let people see what is on the inside of us.
Embracing vulnerability – acknowledging what holds us back – frees a person to embrace courage, sincerity, compassion, generosity, joy, worthiness and gratitude. The flip side is often seen in behaviours of ‘medicating’ feelings of doubt, fear, shame, guilt, resentment, selfishness and blame with drugs (illegal and prescription), alcohol, over-spending, over-eating or any other kind of addiction.
I highly recommend you take the time to watch this 20 minute presentation – it challenged my perspective. I’ve spent a couple of months reflecting on the truths in this clip and have found it to be a catalyst for insight and understanding – not only for myself but the way I see others.
The punch line is simply this – A whole-hearted person knows that they are worthy of love and that they belong. That’s it. The difference between someone who is content within themselves and someone who’s not, is the simplicity of knowing they are worthy of love – and they have purpose in this big wide world.
- Regardless of where a person is at – young or old – the importance of knowing you are loved, valued and created with a purpose is an internal longing and driving force. The way this truth is internally processed results in either positive or negative behaviours.
- Our kids and our teens are wired for struggle and survival… but need to know they are worthy of love and belonging.
- We are all wired for connection – but in order for connection to happen, we must be vulnerable enough to allow ourselves to be seen.
I’ve interwoven this concept within the GET A GRIP teenz program to help them catch this profound insight. But more importantly, you can help reinforce this message when you’re talking to a young person. Tell them – I value you. You are worthy of love. You are created with a purpose. You have a destiny ahead of you. Ask them – How can you make smart choices which help nurture a sense of value? What can you do now which will give you a sense of direction towards a great future? How brilliant it would be to help our teens get a hold of this message!
I love TED talks… so as soon as I put my littles away I will be watching this. [Tell them – I value you. You are worthy of love. You are created with a purpose. You have a destiny ahead of you. Ask them – How can you make smart choices which help nurture a sense of value?] I had purposed in my mind to do that when I talked to my adult, addicted daughter. I struggle keeping the conversation positive. She continually repeat her twisted understanding of the truth. The words are formed in her brain and given power when they are heard again. Her lies are refined? It seems that, by continuing to allow her access to me, I am allowing that version of reality a stronger foothold.
As you would be well aware, addiction is a self-destructive pattern. A person needs to do the hard yards themselves to break free. No easy answers – but your unconditional love towards her will go a long way to helping her realise there is support if she chooses to start a new life.