The latest craze to hit Facebook is another indication of the degrading messages young people both receive and give about themselves, others and s*xuality. Pages are being set up which have messages on the profile information page saying things like: **** -* *** Has Finally Arrived To Facebook. Inbox Me Your S*xual Experiences… From S*it To Great. Everything Will Remain Anonymous Just Inbox The Name Of The Person You Slept With A Rate 0/10 And Any Other Information You Want To Give Me…
This is so sad. Young people’s s*xual experiences are being put out in the open for all peers to see. Humiliation in the sickest of ways.
The s*xual experience is supposed to be a memorable one – but not in this manner. Connecting with another person s*xually is meant to be intimate – not public. Media and p*rnography has sold our youth a lie that s*x is meaningless – worthless – trashy. The reality is, when s*x is treated like this, it’s the person involved who ends up feeling meaningless, worthless and trashy. When young people throw themselves out there, it leaves them with baggage they’re not equipped to deal with.
Some of the latest research on bonding attachment indicates that feelings and behaviours related to rejection after a s*xual relationship are difficult to control and lead to feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts – top this with humiliation through a Facebook page where an ex-fling can degrade the experience to a score… this is cyber-bullying at its worst.
Our young people aren’t entirely at fault here – they have been constantly bombarded with sexual messages. The S*xualisation of Young People Review by Linda Papadopoulos (released February 2010), states:
The world is saturated by more images today than at any other time in our modern history. Behind each of those images lies a message about expectations, values and ideals. Images present and perpetuate a world where women are revered – and rewarded – for their physical attributes and can put pressure on both girls and boys to emulate polarized gender stereotypes from a younger and younger age. It is testament to the extent to which such stereotypes have become ‘normalised’ that to object is to often be accused of lacking a sense of humour and proportion.
Leading S*x Educator, Janell L. Carroll from the University of Hartford, expresses these cautions in relation to the portrayal of s*x on television and in movies:
…(it) is only a small slice of the real world; television, like the movies, edits and sanitizes the world it displays. For example, although literally hundreds of acts of s*xual intercourse are portrayed or suggested on television shows and in the movies every day, we rarely see a couple discuss or use contraception, discuss the morality of their actions, contract s*xually transmitted infections (STIs), worry about AIDS, experience erectile dysfunction, or regret the act afterward. Most couples fall into bed shortly after initial physical attraction and take no time to build an emotional relationship before becoming s*xually active. Values and morals about s*xuality seem non-existent.
The reality is young men and women do have the capacity to care for others. But our young people receive so many negative messages – they need to be taught respect and empathy. Unfortunately, unless it’s taught in the home, it can often be a quality which is a lacking. Youth need guidance and direction in a world which offers very few boundaries. Where are the positive role models? Who is being a positive voice for the youth of your community?
How is your school and community addressing abusive behaviours? Does s*x education for youth incorporate the key message of respect, integrity and healthy relationship qualities? Have young people been given enough resources and tools to help place a positive value on s*x and intimacy? Are they getting a strong message about how s*x affects their overall wellbeing? Or are they left to their own devices with no guidance on how to develop a healthy respect for themselves and one another?
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(The names of the Facebook pages were not made known – The pages have been reported. If you see similar pages, be proactive and report them.)
